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May 30th, 2006

02:56 pm - over it..
so i broke up with blake on sunday nite.. it was just not what i wanted and thats that.. he cried i felt bad but i couldnt suffer through anymore of his stupidity there were great moments but the bad ones outnumered them by far.. what can i say maybe im destined to be alone.. but whats so funny is before i dated him i was sooo desperate to find love and after dating him i just want to have FUN! thats what i plan on doing.. nobody needs to be tied down the summer of their graduation you should be able to hang at the beach with all the hotties your heart desires... i plan on it... hope everyone is enjoying the last week or so of school... love you all.. c
Current Location: chair`
Current Mood: contentcontent
Current Music: leave the pieces: the wreckers

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May 6th, 2006

12:33 pm
isnt it funny how you get what youve been asking for and then you still arent satisfied?? i was not happy being single then blake happened and then i thought of myself as being trapped and i freaked! i explained to him that i had doubts and completely freaked him out.. and then leeann helped me out and i realized i would rather be with him then lose him.. i have really grown attached to him and i dont know if thats a good thing or not he tells me he would never break my heart but things happen sometimes that you cant help but i guess thats the chance you have to take.. we are going to the club tonite well its a tavern thing i dunno but its like 30 people from work and their friends its gonna be a trip!!! im wearing a hot new shirt!! whootwhoot! haha its really pretty... boys shall drool!! haha im in a really REALLY good mood today i hope work doesnt change that... im hyper as all too... im ready for tonite... but i have to work all day tomorrow and i go in at 11:30 its gonna suck after being out all nite tonite... i got a good nites sleep last nite so i hope im ok.. this is my last week of school!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! YES!@! i have a vocab test on mon and my final on wed. apparently it wont be hard bc she isnt giving us our review sheet until like mon so it better be easy... im so excited no more school! well i know alot of my loves are going to prom tonite! i hope you all have a wonderful time i know youll look BEAtiful!!!!!!!!! i gotta get ready for work... i love you guys!!! have a great weekend!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo, c
Current Location: lala land
Current Mood: giddygiddy
Current Music: i need you to love me: barlowgirl

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April 25th, 2006

10:27 pm
I should be out in that driveway stopping you
Tears should be rolling down my cheek
And I don't know why I'm not falling apart
Like I usually do
And how the thought of losing you's not killing me
I feel bad
That I can stand here strong
Cold as stone, Seems so wrong
I can't explain it
Maybe it's just
I've cried so much
I'm tired and I'm numb Baby I hate it
I feel bad that I don't feel bad

I can let myself be angry over wasted time
And sad about you throwing love away
Yeah I almost wish my heart was breaking
But I cant lie
All I want to do is turn the page
I feel Bad
That I don't feel bitter, alone
I just feel its time, its time to move on
I just gotta move on and on and on

thats how it goes.. and thats what im saying.

i am finally seeing the whole picture clearly... i knew it in my heart but i couldnt get it right in my mind. not anymore. i think i knew it all along i just didnt want to face it but now its done! i am through with that whole "phase" and boy am i glad!! i am so happy with life right now there are just no words.. blake is AWeSOME! and i cant even begin to explain my feelings for that boy. he just makes me happy. :) he met my dad and step mom yesterday he was sooo nervous it was too cute! but they liked him so its all good. i think my self confidence is really improving bc it was really down for awhile. blake builds me up soo much i just cant thank him for all his help. i notice stuff now like guys just staring at me.. its kinda weird but it makes me feel pretty. ive never been one to think that of myself but here lately people have been telling me that, and it makes me feel good. life is good and i hope it continues that way. i think i deserve a little good after dealing with all the bad.. so school is almost out! whoohoo like 2 weeks im too excited about that i hate it but its better than AHS. soo ya know... oh well i gotta go study for a vocab exam whoo! but i love you guys thank you for all you have done you mean the world to me and more!!! i cant express my gratitude to you.. but you know what i mean!!! LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE!!! xoxoxo, c
Current Location: cloud 9
Current Mood: ecstaticecstatic
Current Music: rascal flatts: i feel bad

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April 18th, 2006

02:38 pm
so i miss you guys!!! i hate having to work all the time... i love the money part of it yeah but look at what it is costing me... my beautiful friends. last thur was awesome! we are such goobers when we get together... well school is almost out for me i have about 2 weeks left and then im out forever!!! well until i go to college haha.. then grad week will be here before i realize and its gonna be fun and then right after that is CAMP!!! our last year ::tear:: we are gonna be such a big ole mess before we leave... then itll be back to school before we realize it... life is in like fast forward right now it used to go by soo slow and now we cant slow it down enough. blake and i are doing great, its funny how things work out when you least expect them to but if you wait and are patient put all your faith in the fact that He knows what He is doing then it works out for you... i love that.. hehe. well i better get off of here i hope everybody is having a great spring break!!! call me if you wanna hang out i dont know my work schedule yet but i find out today so love love love love!!~!! xoxo, c
Current Location: space
Current Mood: happyhappy
Current Music: i got you: craig morgan

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April 2nd, 2006

10:40 pm
so its finally official.. we are a couple.. yay! its funny how we dont act any different. its just a name... we had the "commitment" talk last nite.. hes not afraid of commitment but hes afraid of marriage? i dont get it i was like all marriage is is a commitment its a piece of paper that links you and he was like yea i know but why is it important.. i dont knwo about that one. haha. so i am now officially a server at work i made $175 last nite i had to give up 25 to the tip share pot but i can still deal with 150 ;). found out my parents are really going in debt well they kinda were but now they owe like $1000 in taxes and crap like that.. josh makes no money i am the only one with it and i am a very stingy person i dont want to share but i want to help so i guess this means buying my own stuff from now on.. i bought clothes for the first time last thur and when i say this i mean i spent my own money didnt take somebody and let them pay... i spent $200 haha but it was cute stuff and i wanted it so i got it! i got to see my mandino today but for a very short time and i miss her!!!!i miss all of you guys... i have been working soooooo much but maybe itll be fixed now and ill be able to come and see you all.. i dont know what else to say or what else is going on but call me sometime or something i dont know... love you all!!!!! xoxoxo, c
Current Location: computer chair
Current Mood: draineddrained
Current Music: gretchen wilson: holds me together

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March 13th, 2006

07:13 pm
ok so blake and i are still not offically dating and its weirding me out... like we act like we do but when everybody at work sees us and asks hes like were talking... in that slow low voice.. haha but yea so im now at gaston and i like it so far.. but ive only been to one class so we'll see how it goes.. so heres to 7 weeks of school left! whoo!!!!! ok blakery and i are going out this thur. hopefully it wont get messed up like last time... im feeling a little more independent these days like its ok to mess up youll recover and good things are coming your way if you wait and are paitent... well all i have to say is ABOUT TIME! haha ok so i love you guys hope all is well.. see ya!
Current Mood: contentcontent
Current Music: nickelback: far away

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March 2nd, 2006

02:08 pm
ok so my date is now canceled.... soo im bored now... call me if you want to do something! love yall... c
Current Mood: boredbored
Current Music: staind- right here

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March 1st, 2006

09:59 pm
ok so i think this is very very interesting! i have blake right? well i have matt AKA hott baker and hes just someone to have fun with nothing serious or anything well we were chillin at the roadhouse after getting checks and me and matt were eating and we were just chatting it up like always and i mentioned something about prom somehow and he was like you got a date? and i said i dunno yet but its not till may so i have some time... then hes like well if you dont have a date id go with you..... haha ok whats the deal?? for months i had nobody that liked me and now i have a couple? its messed up! haha me and whitney were talking and its just weird how guys are like they wont act or anything until they know like you might be talking with somebody then theyre like oh i have to grab her now before someone else does! haha mom says i should just stick with blake bc matt is leading me on... if he is hes still a hottie while doing so! haha gah thats soo beat up im talking to blake and liking another guy at the same time but we arent really commited or anything and besides matt is like 22 or something but he thinks im a hottie too.. but so does blake so im confuseled right now!! haha oh well gotta love the guys for making life interesting!!! love you guys cant wait till senior sleepover!! whoohoO!!!! xoxo,c
Current Mood: indifferentindifferent
Current Music: edwin mccain: ill be

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February 28th, 2006

02:54 pm
ok guys so blake and i are gonna go out again this thur hes taking me to the river rat... were sooo gonna get lost! its supposed to be expensive again i keep telling him not to take me to these kinds of places but he says he doesnt mind spending money on me, so ill let him.. haha... it so cute yall he throws croutons at me while were working and cups and anything else and we try to catch them and throw them back its funny.. and he still hasnt kissed me yet... he gives me kisses on the cheek which is soooo cute but i think this thur its gonna be on.. haha... ok so at work this girl kaly had like a "sex party" where you can buy toys and lotion and powder and all kinds of crazy stuff and she got this edible powder and splooshed it all over me and i  was licking my arms and stuff bc i actually tasted good it was like strawberries and i wasnt paying attention but lamar came up and was like dang girl what are you doing to my man? and i was like what? and blake had been staring at me and his salads were backing up haha he had been watching me and couldnt work.. so lamar made me leave... blake was like dude could you work with that in your window??? i laughed so hard and of course everybody heard about it in the restuarant so we got made fun of but its all good... haha so im actually starting to really like him. like hes more than i expected and i like that i was suprised! i usually hate when guys call me a lot but i find myself hurt when he doesnt call... haha i sound like a little lovesick puppy... haha but its fun.. and maybe mandi will like matt and we can all hang out together?!? thatd be so funny! oh well just letting yall in on whats been happening.... love yall see you wed! xoxo, c

p.s.- HAPPY BIRTHDAY CHRISTY! sucks you have to work but itll be better this weekend!
Current Mood: chipperchipper
Current Music: carrie underwood: next time that he cheats.. haha

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February 26th, 2006

11:55 am
Tell me you’ve had trouble sleeping
That you toss and turn from side to side
That it’s my face you’ve been seeing
In your dreams at night

Tell me that you wake up crying
And you’re not sure exactly why
Tell me that something is missing
In your life, in your life baby

Tell me that you live for love
That forever is never enough
That you’ve waited all your life to see
That you want so badly to believe
Tell me that it’s not just me

I could have sworn I saw you smile at me
Standing in the pouring rain
At a loss for words and running out of time

I said this crazy hting (crazy thing), I said

Tell me that you live for love
That forever is never enough
That you’ve waited all your life to see
That you want so badly to believe
Tell me that it’s not just me

Hold me now and tell me that you do believe
In a soul, a soul mate
And tell me, and tell me, tell me

Tell me that you live for love
That forever is never enough
That you’ve waited all your life to see
That you want so badly to believe
Tell me that it’s not just me

Current Mood: ecstaticecstatic
Current Music: RASCAL FLATTS!!!!!!!!!!

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